MIRON

Con ASS

We assume this was unintentional on the part of layout artist assigned to layout the front page of the Philippine Star. Ass you can see, headline on Con-Ass and photo of volleyball players in assorted beach wear were assembled in such a way that might prompt readers to make some kind of association.

Wouldn't be surprised if this layout provokes some reader into making some asinine remark (as-i-nine, adjective, from Latin asininus, from asinus 'ass') Some people can be such assholes.

No malice on the part on miron, I assure you. Just trying in my usual analytic way to assess the way newspapers are assembled. In fact, I'd be glad of your assistance in this scholasstic study of media, in a time when photos, displays, billboards go as far as your eyes can see...

Hail to the Max!

          My name is Maximum Exposius Solivenus! Commander of the Armies of the North! General of the Felix Legions! Loyal servant to the true emperor, Glorius Eraptus Ad Nauseous, father to a proud son, husband to a proud wife, and I will have my publicity with a vengeance -- in this life or the next!

Naks! Soliven

Just when I thought publisher Max Soliven has finally curbed his propensity for appearing in the frontpage of his own newspaper, he pops up again! This time appearing not just in one photo, but in TWO!

There he was in last Sunday's edition of The Philippine Star. On the left, Max smiles beside president Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, just hours after her cabinet demands her resignation. On the right, Max smiles beside pajama-clad former president Erap Estrada, for whom he braves a tropical storm to visit in the hospital.

The cynical among us would call Max a two timing "sanamagan" (to borrow Max's favorite expression). But not miron. I'll just say that, well, Max was just trying to (ahem) get all sides and (ahem) appear fair and balanced.

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Max has already dug up file photos of himself smiling beside Cory and FVR, Loren Legarda and Noli de Castro, Franklin Drilon and Lito Atienza, and JUST IN CASE, REZ CORTEZ.

Because these days, you just never know...you just never know.

Photo Oops!

Link: Philstar.com - The Filipino Global Community.

BY THE WAY By Max V. Soliven The Philippine Star 06/08/2005 ? Now I feel like Ma Mon Luk. Yesterday morning?s frontpage photograph of this publisher paying my "last respects" at the bier of our friend and colleague, Teddy Man Benigno, was EMBARRASSING to say the least. Our editors meant well, but it appeared too much of a conceited propaganda gimmick, as if proclaiming, "see, how pious I am publicly praying (like the biblical Pharisee)". And so, apologies to our readers.

It looks like I might have to call off my "What in the World is Max up to?" watch. Just a day after posting about Max's all too frequent photo ops, the man apologizes. Damn smart, too. Reminds of something I read from political strategist James Carville. How to fight your enemy? Take away his spear. In other words, admit your mistake before someone uses it against you.

Of course, that prompt apology may not have anything to do with Miron, in which case we can expect Max to make another frontpage appearance soon. Time will tell. Meantime, we'll be watching... even more diligently from now on. If he's smart, he'd stay low, maybe show up in the inside pages, possibly in the world or the provincial or the sports news...

Where in the World is Max Soliven?

Link: La Viuda Loca - Ulirang Ina Mo!.

Did you notice that the only person who appears with more press releases than anyone else who makes press releases in the entire journalism industry is Max Soliven? I never saw Chino Roces appear in any Manila Times edition. He saw to that. This other guy sees to the opposite.

When I saw the Philippine Star's frontpage photo of Max Soliven standing solemnly beside the coffin of Teddyman Benigno, I almost gagged on my eggs and sausage -- the man is incorrigible! There it was... the public's last glimpse of beloved Teddyman, and Max manages to get into the picture.

He's like Forrest Gump and the ubiquitous face of cartoonist Larry Alcala. He turns up everywhere! I wonder what the staff of The Philippine Star feel about their publisher getting, ahem, maximum exposure on his own paper?

From now on, miron will be keeping tabs on max's frontpage appearances. It'll be fun, like Carmen San Diego, except we'll call it What in the world is max up to now...

Pilipinas Magkakagulo?

This is why newspapers should be careful about publishing ads on the frontpage. At the bottom of front page of today's Philippine Star: BUONG PILIPINAS MAGKAKAGULO... (turn to page 3)

While there'll be no confusing media savvy readers, the ad can still be mistaken for a real title for a real story (it's certainly meant to look like one!) by those who don't buy the paper and don't get to find out, in page 3, that it's just a print ad for Globe.

Timing is off too. The ad came out just when the public is skittish with talks of juntas, revolutions, and coups.

Anti-GMA allies what? After their leader (who?) walks out?

Inquirer banner: ANTI GMA ALLIES SPLIT AS LEADER WALKS OUT
Philippine Star banner: SEDITION RAPS POISED VS ABAT

The Philippine Star wins today. Their banner headline is so simple and direct to the point that it will take readers just a second to understand what happened (abat faces sedition charges after calling for revolutionary government). The headline is even supported by a group photo of Abat and other retired generals making a clear gesture of defiance.

On the other hand, it will take you a few moments to ponder what Inquirer's headline meant, especially if you haven't been following the news and don't even know who the "anti-GMA allies" are, much less who their leader is, why he would "walk out", causing the the anti-gma allies to "split".

The difficult to digest banner headline would have made sense if this were a running story that the Inquirer bannered yesterday. But yesterday's headline story was entirely about something else (haydee bares pressure) and this is Inquirer's first time to break the news of the junta.

I guess the lesson here is --- How to break the story? Try starting from the beginning....

The day Punongbayan got killed in a chopper crash and eight people also died in that tragedy in Nueva Ecija. Whew!

Inquirer banner: PUNONGBAYAN KILLED
Philippine Star banner: EX-PHIVOLCS CHIEF KILLED IN NUEVA ECIJA CHOPPER CRASH

I don't think I have to tell you who won in today's battle for eyeballs, but I will tell you anyway. The Inquirer, of course. The paper has the knack for shock, and for choosing just the right words to deliver today's biggest blows. Punongbayan. Killed. And under that banner: 8 also die in aerial mission to save lives.

I've worked at the Inquirer before and I tell you these guys are sharp. Not only are they editorially on the ball, their editors know how to aim straight at the Pinoy's heart.

I mean, does this read like a conventional lead paragraph to you? "It turned out to be his last mission to save lives. Philippine National Red Cross Governor Raymundo Punongbayan and eight other persons were on their way back in a helicopter... when their time ran out."

That compared to Philippine Star's "A military helicopter carrying a group of government scientists (where's punongbayan?) crashed in a mountainous area in Nueva Ecija, yesterday morning, killing all nine people on board (still no Punongbayan), one of them former Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (Phivolcs) chief Raymundo Punongbayan. (finally Punongbayan!).

In this age of instant messaging, the papers had better learn to write headlines that we can read as fast as we can text. Remember: we now write for an entire generations of readers who have NO TIME FOR VOWELS!